The Shlub: Your Narcissist Will Break You!


The editor: It is very likely that you are being gassed or involved in a narcissistic relationship. Talk to someone for help. Receive a help strategy. Your mental health and future are at risk!

Disclaimer: This story uses pronouns to indicate lesbian interaction. You are free to mentally change the gender of one or any other archetype as long as you feel it is appropriate. Any resemblance with correct people, alive or deceased, is accidental and purely coincidental.

This piece was not written to harm lesbians.

I have a story to tell, and although it might seem unfair of me to put it all down on paper, it is what I must. This is my story about an unpleasant encounter with a Shlub.

The Shlub is a frightening beast that has lost its pieces. We’ll refer to it as “her” since she is a her. While no one knows exactly what makes the Slub sloppy and why, a few people have an unfortunate grasp of the consequences of her impending starvation. She is desperate for the elements and souls that make up Snazztop Shinys. She is not only hungry but also truly starving. She believes that if she consumes enough Snazztop Shimmery elements and drinks sufficient Snazztop Shimmery souls, she will be able to replace the missing elements and transform into the shiniest and hippest Shiny of all. You might be wondering what Snazztop Shiny is. These are people who are loyal, kind, thoughtful and considerate to the point of a fault. We all share a higher quality, which is the ability to cherish. Our upbringing is what makes us vulnerable and most visible to the dreaded Slub.

This is exactly where the story ends. If you are the type who really feels/does not really feel like a succker, then this is the place to be sad. The Slub is a constant collector of Snazztop Shinys, who are trying to live their lives like the thoughtful, valuable Shiny’s they are. The Shlub is very clever. Shinys’ nurturing nature matches her demands for a desperate need to have. Shiny’s cannot bear to see the Shlub in need of, so we arrive in masse and supply the comfort that marks us, hoping to save her and make her feel full. The Slub is constantly replenishing its Shiny’s and making use of them as it pleases. They will either die or run away until then.

The story ends here because it is so sad. The Shlub is not able to eat the souls and elements. She gags at first and feels like she’s falling. It should make Shiny sad, according to the Slub. The Shlub finds that the Shiny is more sad than her elements. This makes her more palatable and undoubtedly delicious. The Slub discovered that if a Shiny makes her sad enough, her soul is almost as delicious as a hot, foamy cup of self-loathing.

So it goes. Even though the Shlub is having a good time, the Shiny feels trapped and her heart breaks. The Snazztop Shiny will eventually see the truth, but it takes a while. This happens when the Shlub is too successful in cultivating misery. The Shiny’s aren’t stupid. They’re just generous. The Shiny tried to communicate with the Shlub. She attempted to be objective and showed her her mangled procedures. The Shiny discovers that there is almost nothing more repelling to a Shlub than being asked to recognize its missing elements. After that, the Shlub launches into the most vicious attacks, and her victim mask is ripped off, revealing her exact face. The Shiny flees. She flees so fast that she loses a few of her elements to the floor. This is exactly where the Slub eats them without any regret.

The Snazztop Shiny now faces her worst fears. The Shlub has let her down. She knows this, and it is hard to explain, given her nurturing nature. She is missing pieces, elements of her soul. Worst of all, her caring heart has lost the Shlub. The Slub isn’t giving up on its quest. She is quick to get on with her work, souring another sweet soul from her collection. She slurps, she peels, she eats, not happy. It is not clear to her that the Slub is providing elements that can make her hip and shiny. However, taking elements only makes the holes even bigger. The Slub will continue to try until the holes grow bigger than any mask can conceal, and she cannot deceive even the most innocent Shiny. The Shlub will never have enough Snazztop Shiny’s to eat.

This is the end of the story. Although it’s a very abrupt end, I am not surprised. Although this has been a sad parable, I don’t want you to lose heart if you are a Snazztop Shiny. Your elements will bring back more than you think possible, even though it might seem impossible. Your soul will be sweetened if you can help a stranger load groceries in her car, truck or truck, calm an animal, or listen to a friend share her fears. You will quickly return to the standard. It’s precise. It is precise. Your Shlub has changed, so have yours.

Remember that a Snazztop shiney is a blessing. We feel the joy and reward of feeling deeply. And we know the grace that comes with living a life of great pride. There’s no better way to live. Ask any Shiny who’s been exactly where you are. Before she can help you get your glow back, she’ll explain why you are still so hip.

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